Has John Mayer been reading Jane Austen? In a new interview, the dreamboat-y crooner, 30, appears to prove that whole universally acknowledged truth about how a man in possession of a good fortune (and, in his case, good hair) must be in want of a wife.

What he's apparently not in want of is Paris Hilton, at least according to the New York Post, which claims he rebuffed her attempts to show him whether her too-often-seen body really is a wonderland.

A snitch tattles to the paper that the big screen-bombing starlet ("The Hottie & the Nottie" made a mortifying $27,000 in its opening weekend), put in an appearance at a post-Grammy bash and "aggressively tried to hook up" with Mayer by "following him around and dancing, trying to get him to look at her."

Hilton's enticement efforts reportedly climaxed with her plopping down at a table and motioning him to plant himself in an empty seat next to her.

"John politely sat for less than a second before ignoring her and moving to chat with a group of friends," relates the source.

Perhaps Paris, who has lately been joined at the lips with fame-challenged ex Simon Rex, would have found a more captive audience if she'd simply told Mayer how darn satisfied she is with her lot in life.

Turns out the robustly coiffed singer-songwriter's ideal mate is one who keeps the kvetching to a minimum, which might explain why his blog currently has just one entry: "Never complain. Never explain."

"I think about my wife all the time," he reveals to Best Life magazine. "I kind of obsess on it, and what I want to find is a person who can speak those kinds of magic words. I mean, 'No complaints' is a great way to live. Also, I want a woman who doesn't hear 'How are you?' as 'I would like you to come up with something dramatic now that will allow me to sit in front of you and give you more attention than I would have if you had just said, 'No complaints.'"

He then misguidedly confesses to a tuchis-based fantasy that will likely be acted upon by many a desperate date over the next several months: "When I find the person I can relate to on that level and who is also a pinup and who also says, 'Can I please take pictures of your ass?' then I am going to get married to her. That I can promise you."

Jessica and John at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Gala in New York on May 7, 2007.

But Mayer admits he lives in perpetual fear that his dream girl will reject him because of his tabloid-covered coziness with the likes of Jessica Simpson and Cameron Diaz.

"... When I think about my wife, I worry. I worry about what she thinks when she reads about me in Us Weekly," he spills. "It's all vapor, nothing, ether. But I worry about it. I worry about what she thinks."

By the by, Mayer adds that his relationship with the former Mrs. Nick Lachey helped him break out of the bubble he'd been living in and forced him to "evolve."

"If I wanted to see Jessica more, I had to grow up," Mayer tells the mag. "And that's the day that I grew up. A lot of people say it's the day I grew down. Too bad. It's the day I grew up."

Next: Ryan's 'Saddest' Time, Reese's 'Ups and Downs'