Hugh Hefner didn't become the world's most famous purveyor of nudie pics without a healthy dose of chutzpah, which might explain why he was happy to turn the brouhaha over the provocative Vanity Fair photo of a bare-shouldered, sheet-wrapped Miley Cyrus to his advantage. In an optimistic move for an 82-year-old, the silk pajama-wearing Playboy icon tells "Extra" that the prepubescent-worshiped "Hannah Montana" star, 15, has -- warning, ookiness ahead -- a standing offer to pose for him when she turns 18. "Certainly she'd be welcome to the magazine," says Hef of Disney's G-rated cash cow. "She's a very pretty lady." As expected, the female objectifying octogenarian doesn't understand the controversy over Miley's Vanity Fair spread: "To make such a big to-do over something as innocent as those photos -- I think it's a reflection on how schizophrenic America is about sexuality." The tween queen, for her part, hints that the photo fuss has been transformative. "We're all changing," Cyrus told the crowd while performing Saturday at the Wango Tango concert in Irvine, Calif. (via People). "I thank you for helping me as I grow through that."

Has Ashlee Simpson resorted to easy digs now that her new album has failed to take off and her engagement and rumored pregnancy have resulted in a collective yawn? OK! reports that during an appearance on a British music show last week, the future Mrs. Pete Wentz told the story of how she was quizzed about an unusual expression. "In an interview the other day, they asked me what I thought, 'You've had one too many Britney Spears' means," said Ashlee. "I was like, 'What?' And they said it means you've had one too many beers." But she admits her mind first went somewhere else entirely: "I was like, 'Oh, you've had one too many trashy girls!'" A chortling Simpson says she was left red-faced by her Brit faux pas, recollecting, "I was like, 'Oh my God, I can't believe I just said that!' It was really bad. I felt horrible." Too bad she didn't feel horrible enough to refrain from repeating the catty anecdote.

Madonna ditches her Kabbalah water for something a little stronger.

With Mariah Carey busy staring at her digit-buckling diamond ring from Nick Cannon, Madonna may be assuming her high-maintenance mantle. The London Daily Mirror claims the Big M was a big pain while performing at Radio 1's Big Weekend event in Maidstone, England, on Saturday. "As well as her own VIP area, she had a 70-strong entourage and three dressing rooms," an insider asserts to the paper. "Her security was so tight, even hubby Guy Ritchie had trouble getting in!" The mole says her backstage demands included Kabbalah water, white roses and fresh fruit, and snipes that her minions took advantage of the "free food and booze reserved for the artists ... All in all, most people couldn't wait to see the back of her." Meanwhile, Madonna's timeworn shtick of cursing in front of an audience (need a refresher? Check out her infamous potty-mouthed chat with David Letterman) resulted in the BBC fielding a handful of complaints from some delicate-eared viewers. Before launching into "Hung Up," she told the crowd (via the Daily Mail), "You guys are going to have to start [bleeping] it up out there 'cause I need to feel some love. I'm going to do an old song. But not too old. [Bleep] the present. Let's live in the past."

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