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By Kat Giantis
Special to MSN Entertainment
July 25, 2007
The Britney Spears Meltdown Watch, Part II, has officially gone from entertaining to alarming. In recent days, we've chuckled at the bygone popster's undies-clad swim with the paparazzi. Pointed and laughed at her increasingly calamitous coif. Shaken our heads over her reported estrangement from her mother, her manager and her publicist.
Now, we're just sighing heavily over Brit's ill-fated July 19 photo shoot and interview with the usually up-with-celebrities OK! magazine, which was so shocked by her bizarre behavior it decided to tell all.
The cover story, much like her disastrous gum-chomping, décolletage-heaving sit-down with Matt Lauer last year, was designed to "set the record straight about all the rumors surrounding her much-talked-about private life."
Instead, it's a "heartbreaking" chronicle of "a young girl who is desperately in need of help," according to the mag, which says Britney's breakdown came with plenty of collateral damage, with some pricey couture paying the ultimate price.
Let's start with the pink silk gown she reportedly used as a napkin during a chicken-and-vegetable lunch feast. The wardrobe coordinator, rightly fearing the worst, asked her to remove it while she noshed.
"Brit dismissively refused to take it off, and after consuming her meal, stood up and rubbed grease from her fingers into the front and back of the dress," says the mag. "It was ruined!"
Moments later, her newly acquired, PETA-criticized Yorkie puppy London decided that a $6,700 Zac Posen dress was the perfect item on which to poop, leaving a steaming present that Spears ignored (and somewhere, Zac Posen weeps quietly).
"Neither Britney or her assistant bothered to clean it up until the coordinator demanded it be taken care of," says OK!, adding that her gofer eventually grabbed a tissue and disposed of the mess.
Alas, hapless London wasn't the only one experiencing bathroom issues.
Brit "used the restroom repeatedly without bothering to close the door," and at one point had her assistant accompany her, relates the mag. When they returned, Spears "seemed disoriented" and her mood became "even more erratic."
Meanwhile, in a move that explains a lot about Britney's uncanny ability to look as cheap and tacky as possible, she apparently told the stylists that their "high-end selection of clothing just wasn't sexy -- the items weren't short enough or tight enough."
The wardrobe experts were dismissed and her assistant assumed fashion duties.
Brit also nixed having trained professionals attempt to tame the tangled tragedy that is her store-bought mane and paint her oft-puffy face, demanding they leave "so that [her] friends could do the job, using the equipment brought in by the pros."
After all that, recounts the magazine, the photographer only managed to snap four test shots (which aren't being published) before Britney abruptly stormed out, a hasty and unexplained exit she made while sporting thousands in borrowed clothing and accessories.
Among the pilfered items: $12,000 in jewelry (including two diamond rings), a $974 Vera Wang dress, $380 Lanvin shoes and a $281 Pucci scarf. Add in the defiled dresses and an ensemble her assistant purloined and the total comes to $21,267.
The magazine may have gotten off cheap: Because the interview turned into a total fiasco, it won't be ponying up the $1 million it planned to pay Spears, according to the New York Post.
Still, the lack of payday -- not to mention her ostensibly ill-gotten designer goods -- didn't stop Britney from hitting up a Los Angeles boutique on Monday.
TMZ.com says the dizzyingly spiraling star shelled out $5,263 during an hour-long shopping spree, picking up such sophisticated items as thongs and G-strings, along with an entire Jack Daniels clothing line.
Elegance, thy name is Britney.
At one point, she reportedly asked a salesgirl, "Do you like my hair blond or
brown?" The deer-in-headlights response: "Blond." Spears agreed, saying, "I
know, blond is totally traditional Britney."
Sadly, while she may
solicit advice from random store clerks, she "won't listen to anybody," a
"family friend" tells People. "[Her family] is frustrated with the situation --
and worried about the children."
Someone else who's worried: almost-ex hubby Kevin Federline, who since the split has emerged as the responsible parent to sons Sean Preston, 22 months, and Jayden James, 10 months.
Yeah, we didn't see that coming either.
Just a year ago, he was viewed as nothing more than a hard-partying, baggy-pantsed, bad-rapping, overly fertile former background dancer mooching off his meal-ticket missus.
But as Britney has descended into an umbrella-wielding, noodle-shaving, skin-flashing cautionary tale, K-Fed -- on the advice, we're assuming, of some savvy reps -- has kept a low profile, staying out of the limelight and out of trouble, something that may serve him well if he tries to get full custody of his chubby-cheeked tykes, a move OK! believes is in the works.
"Kevin is worried about Sean and Jayden's safety," a Federline confidante maintains to the magazine. "He had heard bits and pieces of what was going on from Brit's mother, Lynne [Spears], and from the bodyguards but has been trying to focus on getting along with her and didn't want to believe she had completely lost it."
After hearing about his estranged wife's OK! antics, he reportedly had a two-hour meeting on Monday with his lawyer to discuss options to limit her access to the tots.
And Kevin may have a secret weapon in the fight: Britney's former assistant and so-called cousin Alli, who is rumored to have recently fallen out with the star. Seems she may be willing to unload some of the dirty laundry she picked up during her tenure with Spears.
"Alli gave specific instances where Brit couldn't handle having the kids," says a Britney insider. "Kevin was angry at Britney for putting his kids in jeopardy and immediately phoned his lawyer to investigate the claims further. He couldn't believe she had gotten so out of control."
In the meantime, Federline continues to angle for Father of the Year. Star reports he popped into ubiquitous Los Angeles baby boutique Petit Tresor, shelling out $14,000 to outfit rooms for the boys in his newly rented mansion.
"Federline was in the store for close to an hour and was carefully selecting the right theme for each child," says a snitch. "You could tell he really put his heart and soul into this and was precise in what he envisioned when describing each of his sons' personalities."
Sean Preston ended up with a sports theme, while Jayden James will be awash in nursery rhyme décor.
