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All reviews by user Date  Helpful Rating 2 out of 9 users found this helpful  A Peace ProtestPosted: 1/31/2004A review of The Pianist by brianwilson_67 OK, here's what I don't understand. Why did a film like this get pegged as anti-war. Is it because we live in a time where if you aren't willing to go to Cuba and murder a few undeclared POW's, you're a softie? <br>This film is about a Jew who survives the war. Do you understand? He survives. While six million of them tragically died, we choose to make a movie about one who made it through. This all serves to tell us that war, despite all its atrocities, is a good thing because it allows to see how great and strong humanity really is.<br>We don't have to really worry about $*^*s because at the end of the day, you can make it just like Wladyslaw Szpilman. This message, of course, is not the intention of Mr. Szpilman, who thankfully lived through World War II. Regardless of the intention, however, these are the days where stories of war SURVIVAL are the only stories that are being told, thus pairing up the ideas of war and hope. Perhaps if there were a few more films out there about the losers in war (and despite what the films are telling us, there were more losers than there were Wladyslaw Szpilmans) we'd feel a little less gung ho about sending our twenty-year old soldiers to the front lines. Was this review helpful? Sign In 1 out of 3 users found this helpful Bad Is Still BadPosted: 1/31/2004A review of Plan 9 from Outer Space by brianwilson_67 There seems to be a trend in our generation to fall for this notion of "It's so bad it's good!" This movie is the symbol for that mentality. I could give a similar review to other films, most notably the Evil Dead trilogy that has college students across North America salivating but since Plan 9 is the epitomy of this absurdity, it gets picked on here. Many of us will criticize films that have a one-joke premise. Movies where the lead goes blind, and two thousand jokes about a guy falling, or dating fat women ensue. These one-joke premise movies are generally resoundingly panned, and rightly so. That being said, films like Plan 9 with their unintentional one-joke premise (ie. bad movie hijinks) get given carte blanche. However unintentional it is, it's a boring premise that gets old after the first prop falls off a table. Only in North America, where I was born and raised, could a group of uncultured people call a movie good for being "so bad". It's a sad state of affairs. Was this review helpful? Sign In 2 out of 7 users found this helpful Too CutePosted: 1/31/2004A review of Monsters, Inc. by brianwilson_67 You know you're living in a sad society when you can't say that you hate a cartoon film that portrays incoherent mumbling children learning how unfunny monsters aren't actually scary after all. What is so bad about saying that? Can we not have a soft side and still call this movie for what it is - an unfunny overhyped film that even five year old children would admit to not liking were it not for their unintelligent insecure parents fawning over it like it was the second coming of Citizen Kane. In our society, we cater to the children constantly. Everything must be done for the children. And because of this, we are forced to appreciate an insipid film without any value whatsoever. And we do it for the children. Well, I'm not falling for this. A four-year old named Boo? You know you're in for a wild ride when you have a kid named Boo in your film. There's no way you're not going to think this character is cute, right? Her name is Boo! Boo, for God's sakes, who wouldn't get all mushy over a character named Boo. And to top it off, she talks like a village idiot. Isn't that equally adorable? You know, we all go around saying, "It's not about looks, it's about what's inside". This viewpoint, however, clearly doesn't apply to the films we watch. Does anyone remember the film Three Men and A Baby where unlikely funny characters are forced to deal with a youngster against their will and eventually get captured by the child's cuteness? Well, we all snicker at that film but not at Monsters Inc, and its precisely because one was for adults and the other was for kids. I think we all need to grow up a little bit and call them as we see them. Was this review helpful? Sign In 0 out of 9 users found this helpful The Sixth ReviewPosted: 1/31/2004A review of The Sixth Sense by brianwilson_67 This film came out amongst a slew of films with surprise endings. The great thing about surprise endings is that they make you forget that the last ninety minutes of film that you sat through was utter crap. Without the ending, no one would have thought cared about this film, it would have been ridiculously mundane. This is why it allowed for the writer of the film (presumably the grossly overrated M. Night Shamalayan - Signs? what the hell was that?) to put as little effort possible into the first 7/8ths of the movie. "Yeah, but did you see the ending coming?" No, I didn't, but I also didn't foresee the line: "Hey... you are not a freak. Don't you believe anybody that tells you that." I see, so it can be as over-the-top as an after school movie starring one of the Cosby kids but as long as a character turns out to be a ghost in the end, it's a jewel for the ages. Give me a break, M. Was this review helpful? Sign In 1 out of 7 users found this helpful Amy Needs A FaceliftPosted: 1/31/2004A review of Chasing Amy by brianwilson_67 "And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there". I believe that says it all, really. If anyone ever made a comment like this to me, I would immediately start making out with the next person who walked by just to make them feel bad for letting loose such trite crap out of their mouths. Why would I even want to "hang out" with someone who wishes to butcher the English language in such a profane and desecrating manner? Kevin Smith is the most overrated jackass of my generation. He goes a long way to proving that we may be the dumbest group of phonies that ever collected on the planet Earth. That being said, he is the master of inflection. He knows what jokes sound like, he just doesn't know the words to use to actually make them funny. This is probably why he fills in most of them with a litany of words only a Tourette's patient could truly appreciate. Sadly, this is not even his worst effort. Was this review helpful? Sign In 1 out of 11 users found this helpful Did Ronald Reagan Produce This?Posted: 1/31/2004A review of Requiem for a Dream by brianwilson_67 Yes, this film certainly is shocking. We see all sorts of horrific images, all of them combining to convince us that drugs, particularly heroin, cigarettes, and diet pills, are bad. Aronofsky chooses to go with shocking us as opposed to giving us a rational, intellectual, and dare I say it ironic or subtle, reason why drugs are bad. This veers the film away from something worthy and turns it into major propaganda. It recalls to mind immediately Triumph of The Will by famed filmmaker Leni Riefenstahl. The worst propagandists immediately go for the heart instead of the head, because it is easier to pull the wool over your eyes when you're crying or laughing. Going for the head is a more complex and difficult task. A task that Aronofsky clearly had no interest in tackling. Suggesting this be played in every school classroom reminds me of A Clockwork Orange when the lead character is also forced to sit through scenes of horrific images in order to get over his violent streak and produce a manufactured (and frighteningly illusory) "good person". Congratulations to all those involved in this film who made a perfect movie for Alexander de Large. Was this review helpful? Sign In 3 out of 13 users found this helpful Finding BoredomPosted: 1/31/2004A review of Finding Nemo by brianwilson_67 When I went into Finding Nemo, I was quite excited. I heard that this was a cartoon family movie that adults were enjoying too. What I forgot was that "adults" appreciate films like As Good As It Gets and other "pleasant" forays that allow them to sit back and nod pleasingly, happy that they've had a nice day out of the house and given themselves something to talk about at their next PTA meeting. This leads us to Finding Nemo. Albert Brooks is my favourite comedian, but even I can admit that he's made some weak films in his day. When I saw his films The Scout and My First Mister I thought, this is potentially the most naturally humourous mind we have at our disposal and you put him in a film that employs a weak message and segments of high school play seriousness? Finding Nemo also has these qualities. Some might say, "Weak message? I think the message of independence is a good one". I don't have much of an answer for that, other than if you're watching Finding Nemo for the message of independence you're probably one of the most shackled people in the world. This is another example of, if this were a film made for adults, we'd all hate it. It is lucky, however, that Finding Nemo is made for kids because we are a society that caters to children and anyone who attempts to criticize anything that is remotely child-like is the world's biggest monster. Finding Nemo is a joke and the year's most over-hyped film and another example of how we underestimate the intelligence of kids. Was this review helpful? Sign In 1 out of 8 users found this helpful  A Realistic Portrayal of the BurbsPosted: 1/31/2004A review of American Beauty by brianwilson_67 In 1998, Steven Spielberg was embarrassed at the OSCARS when his overhyped, "anti-war for dummies", project Saving Private Ryan was overlooked in favour of Shakespeare In Love. Spielberg in a fit of jealousy immediately forced his DreamWorks cronies to come up with a film that was sure to win the OSCAR the following year. American Beauty, a rip-off of the more subtle and less watched Ice Storm, was quickly rifled off. Of course, this film bears all the stereotypes of what your average fourteen year old will tell you is wrong with suburban life. That's not to say suburban life isn't awful. It is. But come on, can't we address the problem without the bored husband, quirky wife, darkened daughter, and closeted homosexual? Don't suburban problems run a little deeper than these ridiculously shallow archetypes? And to top it all off, the film makes a run for philosophy when we watch a pseudo intellectual half-wit's video of a bag floating around. Of course, he's just a teenager and this is the kind of lightweight philosophy (the kind that real scholars would laugh at), that you would expect from a real life 18 year old. Unfortunately, the audience is supposed to interpret him as some sort of child prodigy who actually has real answers to life's problems. What is equally disturbing is that the bulk of the audience either did interpret it this way or simply didn't get it. Was this review helpful? Sign In 5 out of 10 users found this helpful God awful - Get It?Posted: 1/31/2004A review of Bruce Almighty by brianwilson_67 I'm sure the people for whom this film is made will enjoy it very much. I am, however, not one of those people. This, of course, is a film that is part of a rich history of religious comedy (ie. inoffensive in every possible way). It's the kind of film that allows Christians to say, "See, we have a sense of humour about our religion. We watched Bruce Almighty!" First of all, I am apart of the Christian religion, so I know firsthand that we do not have a sense of humour about anything. This probably explains why Jim Carrey was cast in the lead role, and of course, the always hilarious Morgan Freeman. Bruce Almighty is one of those lily white efforts that masquerades itself as being controversial by making the smallest efforts. How hip the writers must have felt when they came up with the idea of God being black. Woo, you're really pushing some buttons there. Maybe if this was made during the Civil War, there would have been a major uproar. The very notion that they thought this was going to be a big deal is racist in itself, is it not? And wasn't it already done is Sister Act? At any rate, this movie should be panned purely because it deals with God and doesn't even allude to fact that He doesn't exist, at least not how they're presenting him. It's been about one hundred and fifty years since Darwin and we still have go through this charade about free will? This film lost it's edge two hundred years before it was written. Was this review helpful? Sign In 1-9 of 9 Per Page |
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