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realitygoround You two really have become a piece of work. From where I sit, it's even steven when it comes to blame. Both of your attitudes just amaze and astound me. Please do not say I don't know what it feels like to go through what you have been through. I lived 20 years with a man who was a good father, a person who loved the Lord,we were best friends, but he had one little hang-up - women. Please don't get me wrong, I was at fault also. I took him back time after time,;keeping our dirty little secret, but the trust was gone and I had become someone I didn't like. I would have taken him back again but this time he didn't want back. He said "I just can't do IT anymore." Of course he told our 8 children that nothing would change when it came to their relationship. Wrong...... in no time he was seen around our small tight eastern community with his new hot number. And as for the children; they were a mere afterthought.
He married the other women, she kicked him out after a year. While all the time I was raising our children alone wallowing in self-pity and deep depression.
He is now happily married and so am I. But the children are the collateral damage. Luckily for us we have become a working team again (the kids are grown now), but the scars will never heal. The fears and hang-ups that have developed over time for all of us could have easily been avoided. We still love each other. We are no longer in love. But if both partners would have been willing to do the HARD, I mean really HARD work, this union could have been saved and would have become one that could have lasted forever. What we have had to go through in our separate lives has been much harder than it would have been to stay together and put away our selfish desires; looking to ourselves to figure out what we could do to make what was wrong desolve into nothing more than a bad memory of a bad time. If one can only start as a friend in the beginning - it IS a beginning. The hurt, the hatred, the wounds ...
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