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All reviews by user Date  Helpful Rating 3 out of 11 users found this helpful  THIS REVIEW WILL SAVE YOU 10 BUCKSPosted: 4/26/2008A review of The Forbidden Kingdom by dirtyD152 I have long been a big kung fu movie fan and hold both Jet Li and Jackie Chan in the highest regard. That’s why it is so painful to say that this was one of THE WORST MOVIES I HAVE EVER SEEN! Like most martial arts fans, The previews looked so good, and three minutes into the movie, it seemed to be about to deliver everything that I had hoped for. Jet Li is effortlessly taking out an army of soldiers on top of a mountain and as he is about to put the finishing touches on his mile high kung fu blood mosaic, the audience is abruptly yanked from the edge of its seats and into some dorky teenager’s bedroom. It was at this moment that I realized that I’d been had. It turns out that the movie is not so much about two legendary kung fu masters as it is about some dorky suburban teenager from Boston. Not much plot here either. An all powerful monkey king is double crossed and frozen in stone and its up to some kid to bring back his magic monkey stick before the movie goes over budget with pointless CGI Effects. I can hear the sales pitch for this movie now. “It’s like The Never-ending Story meets Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon with a splish splash of Mortal Kombat thrown in {snort}. I’m telling you Jim, It’s gold, SOLID GOLD {snoooort..sniff sniff}“. They also managed to cover all of the bases as far as cliches. The most offensive of which is what I like to call Karate Kid Syndrome. It occurs when you take a non-athletic white kid (Or Tom Cruise) with absolutely NO martial arts training, throw together a brief montage of him doing push ups, and in in three days he is an unstoppable kung fu killing machine able to cripple any human being no matter how many decades of training they have on him. I could go on and on but I think that this should be fair enough warning. If you don’t believe me then go ahead and listen to the 11 year olds who gave this movie 5 stars. Otherwise, you’d be better off paying a mentally handicapped teenager from Boston $10 to kick you in the head. Was this review helpful? Sign In 1-1 of 1 Per Page |
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