One day, when Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards' daughters Sam, 3, and Lola, 2, are all grown up and negotiating a lucrative tell-all deal, they will find cold comfort in the fact that their custody-battling parents cared enough about them to crush each other's soul.

This week, brain-scrub-requiring e-mails that the "Two and a Half Men" star supposedly sent to his ex have made their way to several media outlets, which report the poison pen missives were part of a custody-related filing Denise submitted last month in Los Angeles Superior Court.

"You are a pig," reads one crass communiqué ostensibly from Sheen (via the New York Post and FOX News). "A sad, jobless pig who is sad and talentless and, um, oh yeah, sad and jobless and evil and a bad mom, so go [bleep] yourself, sad jobless pig."

Ah, eloquence, thy name is Charlie.

Says another, "You are an evil piece of [bleep] ... I can't wait to tell the world what a piece of [bleep] you are. You don't get a [bleeping] dime till this is resolved."

Charlie also didn't seem to appreciate the bouquet Denise reportedly sent to congratulate him on his engagement to the oh-so-optimistic Brooke Mueller: "You are a horrible mom. Save your phony flowers for any one of your 30 dogs."

Believe it or not, it gets worse. Much, much worse. Apparently not content to attack the mother of his children, Sheen also reportedly goes after his former mother-in-law, who has been undergoing chemotherapy.

"Go cry to your bald mom, you [bleeping] loser," he callously suggests.

In the court declaration, Denise also accuses Charlie of some ooky and X-rated Internet-related dating and photo behavior, allegations he has repeatedly called "laughable and inane," adding that he would not dignify them with "any measure of response."

Still, one of his buddies blabs to the New York Daily News that Denise is likely the one leaking info to reporters.

"And she wanted to have another baby with him only a few months ago, which makes her a hypocrite," the pal huffs to the paper.

Sheen, who last week responded to the filing by saying he wants the court to limit Richards' ability "to abuse and harass us any longer," appears to understand that the bitterness and bile of his inflammatory, porcine-branding e-mails may have been a wee bit out of line.

According to the Daily News, Denise admitted that her ex sent a mea culpa on Aug. 24 for what he branded his "vile attacks," apologizing for "a comment about your poor Mom ... your professional status ... your abilities as a mother, as an actor," all of which he said, "need to be wrapped in shame, and rocketed out into some distant soundless galaxy, where they could flame out."

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